How do you develop an energetic edge?
This skill is not just for empaths and HSP’s. This is for everyone who wants to understand more about the unseen communication between people. Knowing this can inform why you feel the way you do. You can more fully discern what’s happening beyond what is being said.
We often get a feeling about someone we don’t even know.
We have certain radars put in place that are functioning whether we fully use those capacities or not. It’s intuitive, but more. Most of us were inadvertently taught not to trust our intuition. Our inner compass was put into question when our parents dismissed certain feelings, premonitions, or even gut feelings. Sometimes our feelings were dismissed to the point that we no longer trust what we are actually feeling.
As an empath, I was constantly picking up the environment and not feeling right.
I would often say that I felt weird and my parents would say, “Oh you’re fine.” If I didn’t have a fever, I was basically fine in their eyes. I learned to dismiss the things I was feeling and seeing. Even worse, i learned to leave my body entirely in order to not experience the painful emotions around me and within me.
As an adult, I had to learn not to take on the sickness of my children. This did not mean guarding against contagions, but curbing this uncanny ability to take on their malady in order for them to feel OK. I would invariably have sympathetic pain in my arm if someone had sprained their arm for example. This is when my work of serious boundary became imperative. I am a natural healer, but one time mistakenly took on an atlas bone problem from someone which lasted three years.
I had to find ways of not being an amorphous entity taking on others states and ailments.
Much of the energetic work with boundaries came by understanding energy within myself as opposed to others. It was orienting to an unseen world that could be verified through felt sense and gut feeling. While listening to someone speak, I would also tune into their “energy” and see if what they said was syncing up to what their energy was doing. This started out as a necessity I experimented with on my own until I found teachers who could help me understand how to “read” energy.
Of course, we can all learn how to see more within an interaction. We can watch body language, listen to tone of voice, observe eye movement. We are all picking that up in rapid fire succession anyway. We can get a full energetic picture if we tune in carefully. This takes practice.
We are often so engrossed in our own drama that we miss the energetic cues coming from someone else.
We are not tuned in at all. We are associating and “inner considering” to the point of being unable to be present with our own body and our environment. We miss so much due to self absorption
To tune into how my energy meets another person’s energy requires me to be present and aware of my energy field while simultaneously noticing theirs. This is how I understand the edge between the two fields.
It is the way we can notice being absorbed into a collective emotion, realizing it is not ours.
It can be life saving.
If any of you have been violated in childhood, it is especially hard to know edge purely because you learned as children that you had no power over someone invading your space, your body, or your energy field.
Your trust is annihilated. You have trouble exerting boundary for fear that the people around you will not love you. You don’t even have to be abused to feel energetic intrusion. It happens all the time as kids and adults.
We cannot stop other people’s behavior but we can learn about energy and the unseen world of energetic exchange through felt sense.
We can adjust our energy to prohibit invasion.
I had been doing Fourth Way work rooted in becoming aware of sensation in the body as a means of becoming more present when I started to discern energetic edge. It was becoming apparent on its own as I learned my own felt sense. This was the felt sense of not only my body, but my emotions, my thought and my intuition. The more I know my own energetic field and can maintain sensation within my body, the better I understand my edge with others.
I have counseled many a body worker who melded completely into the person they were working on. They were totally focused on their client, seeking the blocks and finding what needed to be healed. Most often they came away completely drained. By learning felt sense and maintenance of bodily sensation, they inevitably found edge in a dramatic way.
It is not about directing a radar outward toward someone else to read like a scanner.
It is inwardly directed to maintain presence in the body while simultaneously sensing someone else’s energy. It requires having heightened expanded awareness. This is something I teach in my introductory course called Practical Awareness.
By working with felt sense in our own body, we come to know our own energy field more completely. We see ourselves in a new way and increase our sense of presence. If that can happen, we learn to maintain that while in the presence of others. This prevents the meld from happening. It is the first step toward proper energetic manners.
If this topic interests you, stay tuned my four week self study program coming out soon on energetic boundary complete with experiments to use out in daily life.
Have a great week.