I want to entitle this video The Fear of Consciousness.
Let me explain fully the irony of that title.
All of us have a fear of our own transformation and becoming more conscious whether we are conscious of that or not. Something in our lives, the way we live life, the way our conditioning is brings us to a place where we avoid feeling fear.
Somewhere within us may know that true transformation, when we are not messing around or searching for “clearings” from the outside or expecting that we can get better if we improve this or that, will take us through the fire. Like the phoenix, we rise again from this kind of work.
We fear going through that kind of fire. It takes a certain kind of courage to approach more consciousness that is free of conditioning.
Here’s the irony about the fear of consciousness:
As we become more conscious, whatever that may mean to us, (for me that means becoming aware of our awareness, becoming one with a stillness that one can walk through life with), comes the ability to feel fear.
Many things we do unconsciously is to avoid feeling and understanding that fear.
So the work of becoming more conscious, (and there are specific ways of really becoming more fully conscious), allows the fear to start bubbling up. We begin to experience what we have pushed down in the shadows. We start to see what comes up to the light of consciousness within us.
We start to be able to choose the road less traveled within our own lives.
We start to approach things outside of our comfort zone, because we are able to face our fear.
We are able to feel fear and do things that feel fearful instead of avoiding them. That puts us in a place to have better self-understanding.
As this started happening to me, I noticed that I was more compelled to face a fearful situation than avoid it. I don’t know what possessed me to choose the more difficult situation, but as I did the more frightening thing, i gained more consciousness. As long as I was not working toward greater self-awareness and self-acceptance, I would not choose the harder road.
I stayed in a place where I subconsciously knew that I wasn’t going to get anywhere.
That is what we do without really being aware of it.
We stay in things we know aren’t really working, because we are afraid of what might bring us to the brink of our own deepest fears.
So this title “The Fear of Consciousness” is that we experience a fear, but it is not a deep awakening fear, but simply avoidance of consciousness.
We may make excuses and justify doing all kinds of things or feel we need to know this past life or have something cleared before we can face our fear, but it comes to us from doing an inner work that awakens us to what is lurking deep inside.
We don’t have to clear anything to be better. We have to become conscious of what’s there so we can truly experience it.
That is the experience of self-acceptance.
Our ego is not there trying to push things out of the way or use tactics to avoid feeling in order to be better. It’s just accepting what is and that is scary. That is facing our ultimate fear…the fear of self and who we are. It translates to being able to make what seem to be insurmountable choices.
Have a great week,