Most of us are familiar with inner struggle. It occurs when we have a hard time making a decision or experience something that weighs on our conscience.
We are also very familiar with the notion of will power, wanting to do one thing and then sabotaging it for no apparent reason. We struggle as a result with the resulting guilt that comes over us.
None of these scenarios really have much to do with consciousness or self transformation.
They are a result of our unconsciousness. Liken it more to living in a reactional world in which things are constantly being judged as good or bad. There is no understanding behind what is actually happening. We are pulled one way, react and thus swing in another direction, react, and then swing back.
The problem here is that we identify with any state that happens to come our way and this is how the majority of us live our daily lives. We are caught up in an accidental struggle of dealing with reactions to reactions. Our awareness is not capable of seeing beyond the said state.
However, these reactions can provide us with something to work with intentionally. They are grist for the mill. Taking up the work of strengthening our attention to watch these reactive states can produce higher energies, allowing us to see outside of the reaction. We struggle with something we don’t like about ourselves not by trying to change that thing, but by watching the mechanism of reaction within us.
This staying power will catalyze the energy and allow us to understand that it is unconsciousness mechanism.
In the beginning, we may see many things about ourselves. We study our inner states to know more about how fragmented we are. We learn what identification really means by catching ourselves in that state from a newfound awareness we have developed. By working this way, we start to become free of the reaction.
Many will fall into the trap of a secondary reaction or judgement. By default, the newly produced higher energy has been taken up by our lower nature, our reactional self, and progress is not made. The good result of our effort is eaten up and we have to start over again.
The other pitfall is that of spiritual bypassing in which we learn to step outside of ourselves, completely disassociated, and not feeling at all. We do not attempt to see from a three centered state, something which requires our feeling. We continue to compartmentalize which is what we do unconsciously anyway. So this silly term spiritual bypassing simply means that someone has not yet learned how to work toward wholeness through specific spiritual means.
We have been compartmentalizing our whole lives.
That is called survival not consciousness.
We suffer a lot because of it.
That work toward wholeness must pick up a completely new kind of energy in which inner struggle is intentional not accidental. We get better and better at observing from a united front, not from our thinking only. We develop a new center. We then intentionally struggle with the more cohesive parts that are strengthening which creates this notion of higher and lower selves.
The divided self is not a conscious state though conscious energy can work upon it.
In time, we have collected enough “snapshots” to have some understanding about our higher nature and where we are aiming. We can see ourselves reacting and we see more about what that reaction is all about. We have formed a magnetic center fueled by sensitive energy that feeds us new impressions of who we really are. We are more coalesced in that there are the parts of us that know we want to work on ourselves and there are the parts coalesced that can work on ourselves. There are still those that forget easily, but we have gained strength and momentum through the practices.
It hits a tipping point.
When this practice of intentional struggle develops fully in us, we struggle with not going down the rabbit hole in the first place instead of trying to deal with rampant reaction or self sabotage on the back side.
Perhaps this is the difference in a struggle between our higher and lower selves, and our lower selves simply run amok thinking we are working with our higher selves!
May your struggle be valiant this week.