What do energetic manners have to do with the search for love?
Because all of our energetic coping mechanisms are a result of some developmental stage in which our needs weren’t met, it stands to reason that when we are not nourished properly, we continually seek that nourishment through love and attention.
We all have a right to be loved. We are hard-wired to seek communion with others in all kinds of relationships. Our basic need for connection starts right at the beginning with breast feeding and deep human attachment. After the basic right to be here is established, the right to be loved comes next.
This energetic pattern has everything to do with having our needs met.
However, what we feel are our needs gets distorted as we become adults. We develop ways of coping in which our energy collapses and spreads. There is no feeling of edge or boundary.
This is different from the fragmentary, out of body coping mechanism in my previous article.. It has an outgoing reaching feel. There is a neediness to this person’s energy field and one can sense it from afar.
This needy energetic mechanism references its own self through its surroundings as opposed to an inner knowing. It remains in the body but is still amorphous to the environment out of complete neediness. It is as if the feelers are reaching around to find sustenance.
For this person, the heart is the center of operations and conversations take on a feeling quality.
The pattern of pooling comes from needing to know on a cellular level that one can be comfortable and have their needs met. This is the person who was put on a feeding schedule or left to cry instead of getting comfort or fed. Their energy seeks to fulfill a need for nourishment.
We see this person seeking lots of pleasure and comfort and on the dark side being addicted to substances, shopping, food, or sex. If there is not acceptance from a group, or a sense of camaraderie, this pattern feels threatened.
The strategy of this energetic pattern takes energy from their system and spreads it out to reach others. The message sent out is “I’m helpless” and need to be rescued. If seeking that rescue doesn’t work, they will assemble another compensatory move to ignore the pain. This pattern is really about avoiding pain.
Sexuality takes on layers that compensate for this unfulfilled child.
They are the quintessential victim.
The advantage of this energy pattern is that they know how to be vulnerable. Tears and feelings come easily. They make decisions emotionally with little research or analysis. They do not have to focus on unconditional love; it comes naturally.
If we compare this energetic pattern to the fragmented pattern, under stress, the energy collapses without a held container. It feels almost as if one loses cohesion and melts in helplessness. On the positive side, self-care comes easily and there is an orientation to sensual pleasures. The negative side needs others to take care of them.
This pattern can truly benefit from trying to sense personal boundary in a different way than fragmented pattern. The latter must work to get in the body after flying out and staying in the higher realms where it is comfortable. The pooling pattern must gather itself into a core unit of self sufficiency and bodily sensation.
To recognize self pity as a constant by product is the start of recognizing this habitual energetic default.
The practice of sensation is of course remedy for all of these energetic mechanisms. In this case, a sense of gathered self is the result. When put in check, others feel more able to be around this person. Instead of searching to see if a situation feeds them or not, they can learn to feed themselves by staying within the confines of their own body. See more about energetic edge in my article Understanding Energetic Edge.
For the spreading/pooling energy, one needs to learn containment of self through self nourishment. Self care is not the exact answer for they are already all about comfort. Struggle, especially inner struggle, to know more about themselves, will counteract the need to be fulfilled by others. With a stronger understanding of their own power, they drop the need to reach out with their energy to get more.
Stay tuned for next week’s energetic coping mechanism. Let me know if this particular pattern rings true for you and how?
Have a great week.