Why would I want to tell you about my sexual experience?
The time has come for the shadows to come forward. We must all tell our stories of the rampant sexual abuse that has gone on for too long.. We must speak out about misogyny, sexual abuse, sexual harassment, child molestation and sexual shame.
Huge subject, but the healing is happening. We can see it all around in the form of people speaking out. Look at current affairs, the Catholic Church, and women in the workplace.
I work with groups, especially groups of women and usually when the question is asked about who has been sexually abused or assaulted, I get an 80% yes response. That is a horrific statistic.
The more we speak out about this subject the easier it becomes for someone to speak up if they are in trouble. The past made it taboo to speak about it. We were filled with shame.
Being a victim of sexual abuse myself allows me a certain perspective. It affected my life for a very long time and not just my sexual life. I learned to live a lie. I found it very difficult to exert needed boundaries. It was hard for me to say no to anything. It’s true that people who have not been abused suffer from these things too, but this was on top of a host of sexual issues.
I needed real healing.
Even after going through lots of therapy, there was still something more to be done. During the act of sex, i would leave my body and I had to find a way to be in the moment and be vulnerable with someone else.
It takes a lot of courage and trust for this healing to happen. It takes a partner who cares.
Another aspect of the healing is forgiveness. At some point I had to face my abuser, not in the flesh, but energetically, and understand how he could do such a thing. I had to place myself in his shoes. I had to know in my heart of hearts that it was not my fault.
I encourage any of you who have similar experiences to find a way to share your story. There are many ways to relieve the shame and guilt, but telling your story is powerful.
You are not alone.
I would love to hear from you about this subject.