Molly’s Blog.

Negative Emotions

“Negative emotions are the first and fastest place we go when we encounter friction or suffering. It is the nature of sleep to immediately shield ourselves against the forces that can awaken us.

Negative emotions are a reaction, not a perception. In this sense they are not really emotions. They are defense mechanisms. They actually prevent the possibility of full emotion.

With negative emotions, we turn away from what is really happening. We dig a hole and bury our awareness in it.

Negative emotions have us see the world in relation to ourselves instead of ourselves in relation to a much much larger world and the laws governing it. We don’t actually see the world. We respond to it and see that.

Negative emotions are harmful not so much for what they are, but because they steal our ability to control our state of consciousness. recapturing this ability is what transformation is all about.”

-Peter Ingle

I have some challenges for you this week.

In my group classes, we are digging deep into Self Study that will allow us to see into our negative emotions.

The goal: to discover the illusory nature of what we feel as very real. illusion lined paper

We have progressed through 8 weeks to lead up to this point to begin to recognize the mechanics behind why we manifest negative emotion.

The next Goal: noticing and NOT figuring out why.

If we want to be objective, we have to look at things like a scientist without analysis or assumption and most importantly without trying to change it.

Every single person who spoke last night talked about the discomfort of judging someone else or themselves. That is what we studied last week.


This week we are studying negative emotion and the judging of it.

We can all weave a story around our negative emotion and how it got there. We may know our Mom did not understand us, love us, or favored a sibling. We may know we were abused physically or sexually. We may know that the abandonment we feel is not from what is actually going on with the present day partner.

However, we can’t understand any of it if we keep trying to “fix” it.

This is why we create all the distraction in our lives.. It is so we don’t see and feel it; feel it with our feelings instead of our habitual repertoire of self pity, jealousy, alienation, overwhelm or whatever other flavor we choose.

Did you ever notice that knowing “your story” never actually stops all the negative emotion from happening?

Analyzing the reasons why we do what we do does not turn the faucet off.

pillow_fight_featherHave you felt relief from beating a pillow or expressing all this anger and found that it went away forever?

No amount of expressing something that is not real will get rid of it.

The whole point is to UNDERSTAND with all the many parts of you that it isn’t real.

So when everyone in class was talking about trying to stop it or make it better, what they explained was that they judge themselves or others for having these “emotions” in the first place. Of course, it isn’t a comfortable place to be in so we naturally want to get out of that “very icky feeling”.

It was cleverly pointed out in class,”Hey, if you don’t like the station, change the channel”.

This is exactly what I am proposing you do NOT do.

Staying on that channel, tuning into that frequency from all aspects, your body, your mind and your thinking, yes, that horrible inner talk that feeds the whole habitual reactive system will be more beneficial than changing the station.

Watch it, feel it, listen to the voice. Do it as if you were watching someone else.

Don’t change the channel.

If you can do that, another kind of energy starts to work.

The observer gets stronger.

As the observer gets stronger, the multiple parts of you that like this, don’t want that, feel they deserve this, aren’t good enough for that, overwhelmed by this, incensed by someone’s actions, agitated by incompetence, flippin off the driver, kissing the bosses ass, and neglecting their health, will get weaker.negative emotion

You don’t have to attach a story to it as an excuse for what you do.

You don’t have to beat pillows in order to relieve something that is not you.

When you can watch it, you practice Self Acceptance on a grand scale.


Here’s a challenge for this week:

Try not to express your complaining, bitching, and moaning. I am not asking you to suppress these emotions. I am asking you to “cook” in them.

If something you perceive as bad happens, refrain from talking about it.

If you experience misfortune, don’t voice it.

If you see someone being unthoughtful or mean, don’t fight back and don’t criticize.

If the day has not gone as planned, fuck it and don’t complain.

If you feel you must show how you know more, don’t.

If you feel compelled to justify your actions, don’t.


Do not outwardly express your negativity, but notice it from the inside. See how this effort feels to you. Notice how it affects the negative emotion itself. Notice how long you remain in your negative state.What feeds it or chokes it?

Have a week filled with good effort!





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  1. Thanks Molly—great recap!!!

  2. Thank you Molly for this beautiful guidance. It’s so helpful to have this challenge at this time. Love, Heather

    • Heather, we are all in this together trying our best. let me know what you observe and what you experience. Love to you.

  3. OK………..I’ll try!! Not TALKING ABOUT IT is gonna be hard because I usually work everything out through talking, but this week I won’t.

    Lets see what happens. ?


    Thanks miss Molly

    • Les, I have found this exercise to be most effective through the years. Let me know what you experience as a result of not expressing it as dificult as it may seem. Hope to see you at our retreat this year!!! July 14-21 we will be doing lots of this kind of stuff…

  4. I love the challenges for the week. It is a much needed exercise I will implement at my job this week. Thank you!

    • Hi Kara,
      Let me know what happens and what you notice. People have been writing back with amazing observations.

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