Inner considering is a fourth way term referring to the phenomenon of putting importance on what others think.
It is a condition we all live with until we learn to detach ourselves from those thoughts. Most of our negative emotion when boiled down to the root of the matter is caused by identification with these types of thoughts.
We can carry a stressful or difficult situation with us for a long time before we are really able to let go of it. We wallow in what we think we could have done better or how we should have acted. All of these ruminating thoughts are the result of putting importance on what others think.
When we consider internally it is always all about us and how people see us. There is never any consideration to what the other person is actually feeling. Our thoughts revolve around how we are seen, what others think of us, the impressions we have made, whether we are accepted or loved, and what we should have done better.
We even judge ourselves based on what others might think.
If we were able to spend our time and energy on externally considering, we would take into consideration others’ feelings and circumstances. We would have empathy for their situation or mood. We may not agree with them but we would understand why or how they could think the way they do.
We may realize that they aren’t even thinking about us in the way we think they are thinking about us.
Inner considering is so common within us that we hardly notice to what extent we do it. With more presence and the practice of integrating our thoughts, feeling and body simultaneously, we start to notice more about this within us. If we are working to use being in the present moment with learning and observing more about ourselves, we will notice more keenly how we are affected by inner considering.
It is a huge energy leak.
Inner considering diminishes all the good meditation and presence work we have done. Struggling with our inner considering is one of the strongest practices I know. When we can actually be present, inner considering cannot exist.
We all have a personal experience with this. i would love to hear yours in the comments below.